|Chocolate and Laughs - The Sure-Fire Remedy for Anything Life Throws at You|
Chocolate is Worth Crowing and Laughing About
Chocolate kindles passion and emotion as few things can. It makes us happy and feeds the soul. Besides eating it (over 51 pounds per human
per year), everybody delight in talking about it and making jokes about it. Everything about chocolate makes us feel sizeably workable.
a true believer. I am
so passionate about chocolate that I created 300 different chocolate products and 26 different fudges when I owned the Chocolate Factory in Branson, Missouri. Ive even written a book about it - Old Tyme Chocolate Cookbook.
Ive found favorite chocolate jokes cluster around three themes - healthy eating tips (most of which are far from true), flights of fancy, and self-confessions. The tips let you become a co-conspirator in being misled, while acting like the health benefits apply to you.
Healthy Eating Advice about Chocolate
Chocolate covered ginger, raisins, and cherries all count as fruit, so even if youre on a strict diet you can eat as many as you wish.
Achieve the perfectly balanced diet, eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate - they cancel each other out.
Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will take the edge off your hunger and youll eat less.
If you cant eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can not
eat all your chocolate, it may be a sign of a deeper problem.
If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
If youve got melted chocolate all over your hands, youre eating it too slowly.
A nice box of chocolates might
provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isnt that handy?
Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean = vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.
Flights of Chocolate Fancy
A young girl was at the dentist for a check up. With much tutting, the dentist examined all her teeth. Finally he announced crossly, "Young lady, youve been eating far too many sweet things. Several of your teeth absolutely need filling."
"Oh goody!" she replied happily, "Can I have chocolate filling please?"
While walking in the woods Douglas viewed
a young fairy who had fallen into the river and bravely dived in to rescue her. In gratitude the fairy granted Douglas three wishes. He wished for a huge pile of gold, and "poof" there it was. Then he wished for a huge palace, again "poof" and there it was.
Finally he wished he could be irresistible to all women.
There was a blinding flash, a mighty roar and ... poof - he turned into a box of chocolates.
Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.
I never met a chocolate I didnt like.
Exercise is a dirty word... Every measure
I hear it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
Theres a thin person inside of me screaming to get out, but I keep her sedated with chocolate.
Nobody knows the truffles Ive seen.
Money talks. Chocolate sings.
Q. Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous?
A. Because no one target
Problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
Solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated.
Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least youll get one thing done.
Better than Chocolate Jokes; Eat Some First-Rate Chocolates
Wouldnt you love to master building
the kind of chocolate you cant buy from the store? Professional-quality chocolate creations might
easily be made at home, even as a beginner. The how-tos I share is simple enough for the whole family to join in. That delivers laughter as a by-merchandise
, made all the sweeter by the shared acquired skill
Visit http://oldtymechocolate.com/home.php and youll learn about how to contruct
chocolate into an even bigger event in your life. With recipes, chocolate techniques, and history, youll discover how to turn your chocolate cravings into something to brag about. And laugh about.
"Offer Changing Content - 6 quick tips"
1. Always offer changing content on your site if appropriate it will keep visitors coming back. 2. You can make use of news links for automated news updates or , another nice features are jokes, quotations, tips. do a little brainstorming and se...Full Article
Humor on the Net
Many people who send out promotional email, or have a publicationsuch as an online newsletter, will ask if they should includehumor. Well, there is no elegant answer to this question.Some will say that humor lightens things up a bit, and letspeopl...Full Article
Dont let them see you sweat! The art of Performing Magic!
The Art of Performing Magic TricksWeve all been there. Our hands are sweaty, your heart isracing and your hands are shaking like a leaf. Yes, I amtalking about trying to pull off your first magic trick that youjust learned. You are excited to show yo...Full Article
Ten Fun Ways to Liven up Any Presentation
Most of us would agree that having humor in our lives increases rapport, strengthens our relationships and overcomes communication barriers. People who work in a positive, generally playful environment are more likely to stay. Productivity and creati...Full Article
Fitness Tips - Easy Way To Lose Fat/Lose Weight
There are many things we might do every day to help us lose unwanted body fat and help us slim down or maintain our weight naturally. These actions and actitivities which will help us gradually but steadily burn fat can seem like common sense to...Full Article
Naming Your Local Business
Pothole Pictures Normally this name wouldnt create a positive image for a movie theater. But in Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts, where glacial potholes in the Deerfield River running through the village are a cherished part of the landscape, the na...Full Article